I mostly want to freak out and throw stuff a lot lately. I’ve felt overwhelmed with all the things I have to do and all the things I want to do. And all the things I feel like I never actually get to do. Work’s been crazy and I kind of wish I could just step back, freeze the rest of the world, and have a few days to get myself organized and focused, and then start the rest of the world again when I’m feelin’ all in charge and ready to go.
Since that idea’s not working out so well, I’m trying to cling to a few things:
– Controlling what I can and reminding myself to let go of the rest
– Getting back into my workout routine after travel and a couple of just-have-to-get-stuff-done weeks – and loving the high of working myself to my limit
– Eating a frozen dinner (of the organic and wholesome variety, of course) and just being okay with not creating my meal myself from real, whole foods
– The calm I feel listening to the Jennifer Knapp Pandora station, sometimes for hours on end (I’ll guess I’ll have to post something deep sometime and explain why I have no desire for religion or church but I still feel a compelling need to worship and rest in the peace of pure goodness and love…)
– Staying up later than I should tonight to write it out. I always – always – underestimate how much I need several moments to let my heart and mind pour out onto a page.
I feel unbalanced. But it’s okay. It is what it is, and this too shall pass. I’m not perfect; life’s not perfect. And that’s alright.