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Category Archives: family

Brain – 1; Hormones – 0

I always have the big “P” word looming in the back of my head.  I guess it could also be the big “C” word or “K” word, but it’s the “P” part that scares me.  Being a PARENT.  I’m excited to one day have children (kids) and to be a parent, but the logistics of parenting – along with working and wife-ing and all the balancing that everything will require – really freaks me out.  Really, part of me would like to just put a big stop sign on the whole idea of it for another 5 years.  Usually that part of me only hangs around for about 2 weeks, and then biology kicks in for another 2 weeks and I’m like, “OH MY GOD. BABIES. NOW.”

I recently read Sex at Dawn: the Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha.  I started to become aware of my I-want-a-baby cycles and how they coincide with a certain other cycle.  I was curious how the awareness of that would hold up against the hormone rages and whether, in the midst of the I-want-a-baby part of the cycle, I’d pull the whole this-isn’t-hormones-talking-I-feel-like-this-all-the-time thing and try to convince myself that it was true.  Interestingly, so far at least, it seems as though my brain is winning.

Brain – 1 ; Hormones – 0.

I’m pretty well into what would normally be an I-want-a-baby cycle right now and my current thoughts on being a parent (right now; not in general)?  Uh, not so much.  Sure, there’s never a right time to have a baby.  I’ve heard that from just about every parent we know.  But just because there will never be a perfect time doesn’t mean we need to jump into it right now either.  If it were to happen right now, we’d be fine.  We’d be more than fine.  We’d embrace it and jump in with both feet.  But when we feel hesitant, not sure if we’re ready to choose the changes and challenges that come along with being parents, then why would we?

But, fair warning: I may change my mind – er, hormones – on all of this tomorrow.

Our Tree

Our Tree

 

We always put up our tree on the weekend following Thanksgiving.  It’s a big to-do shifting boxes in our basement storage closet and carting our Christmas boxes up to our home.  We turn on old black and white Christmas movies, drink egg nog/hot chocolate/red wine, pick up dinner from Eatzi’s, and decorate the tree.

We use colorful lights and assorted, non-matchy ornament.  I used to be a fan of white lights and simple, gold ornaments.  I let hubs bask in his colored lights and collection of whimsical, eclectic ornaments for the first couple of years we were together thinking that one day we could have two trees (in two different rooms, of course): a formal, simple tree of my liking and a colorful, variety-filled tree to please him.

Now?  I love our colorful tree.  It’s full of treasures and fond memories.  The ornaments in our collection now include a first Christmas ornament from my father in law, ornaments we picked out on our honeymoon, ornaments we’ve bought for each other that reflect things we’ve loved together throughout the year, ornaments from places that are special to us (the historic cemetery across the stress from our building, Santa Fe, Washington state), and ornaments that just make us laugh.

Our tree used to be his tree, full of ornaments from his childhood.  Now, our tree is ours.  It’s colorful and fun and full of memories.  I hate that hubs leaves the tree lights on all night, but I love walking groggily into the dark, quiet living room every morning seeing the lights dancing on the wall.

Life has been so busy and crazy and blurry lately.  My hope for this Christmas is that the little moments with my family – and the traditions that stick and become like family themselves – will linger.  I hope that they warm all of our hearts and remind us to stop and be thankful for the love and light in our lives.